gibberish.

It's Thursday, and I just got back from LA, which is a story for another day, but being at the airport reminded me of this awesome video I found on Gawker forever ago, "How English Sounds to Non-English Speakers". It's interesting to see things from the other side.
It's hard to imagine, but once upon a time a baby Kaya arrived in Chicago without knowing a word of English. Over time, I've realized that's where my soft spot for foreigners, immigration rights, and giving directions to lost tourists comes from. It's the only area of my life in which I can say I am truly patient.

Now if I could just make something of the 7+ years of french I took, I'd really be in business. xx

a b. with an itch (for monogrammed merchandise)

I love my initials, and it's not a secret. However, it might be a sickness. Some of my reasoning is that if I brand my purse with my initials then no one will try to steal it (although check out how weathered that puppy is after two years), and the rest of it might stem from some currently undiagnosed egocentric disorder. I won't even show you my license plate. But to be fair, either the single or double "B" has been my nickname for as long as I can remember, and sometimes it's taken one step further with the full B.O.B. True story, I've got the birth certificate to prove it.

As if this sign-off is even necessary..

freckly face.

Both K and I have got 'em and we both flaunt 'em! Actually, we have no choice but to flaunt them.. they're everywhere. Some call it sun damage, we just call it skin. Our freckles have been with us since we were little girls, and we can only hope that they stick around for a while longer. You wouldn't want them disappearing either if they masked your paleness, camouflaged blemishes and maybe even a wrinkle or two, and brought you back to your youth. If nothing else, we always have a game of 'connect the dots' at the ready! Just be sure to use a non-permanent marker. Also, I'm fairly certain that our spirit animal is a leopard - trés trendy, no? A nice and sheer tinted moisturizer with SPF is our god and savior, and as long as the dermatologist keeps checking them out and finding nothing sketchy about our polka dots, we're good to go.
And we can only hope that their powers of good are enough to save Lindsay Lohan. SNL was a good start.
So, are you a sister of the spots too?

via

{Sorry about that lame quote. It's relevant and that's all there is to it.}

rawr.

There still may be 145 days left to go, but..
WE CAN'T CONTAIN OUR EXCITEMENT!

Some people have countdowns to Christmas, birthdays, weddings, whatever. This is what we count down to. Every single year.

Happy Thursday!

she's 60 - and she's fabulous.

Happy birthday to my darling Mom!

We spent this weekend celebrating my mom's 60th birthday,
and it gave me the perfect opportunity to reflect on what a truly amazing person she is.

* * * * *

She was once an existentialist, a revolutionary and kind of a drama queen. Now, she is a therapist and an author. She does yoga and meditates. At her party, she wore sparkly black TOMS.

She was the first person to ever love me, and the first person I ever loved.

She taught me to stand on my own two feet. To depend on myself. To be strong, fearless and successful. She taught me to love with my whole heart. To laugh, and to celebrate life.  To accept help from others. To be gracious, and kind to strangers. She taught me that compassion, and forgiveness were keys to life.

She taught me that it was okay to be angry, to cry, and to experience pain. She taught me that these feelings would always eventually go away.. And then.. she taught me to be brave.

I have her brown eyes, her crazy laugh, and I hope that I have her amazing heart.

Happy birthday, mama. xx

veg 101: sorry in advance.

Are you ready for my mini-novel? Don't worry, I'm not about to go all PETA on you.

via

We don't even need to talk about these little guys. They're purely there for decoration. I will, however, give you a very brief history of my quick and painful journey from carnivore to herbivore, whether you wanted to know or not. Rewind to November in Nashville during a weekend trip with a friend - the setting was a local BBQ joint, the meal was smoked chicken, and for reasons that I'll leave out for fear of grossing y'all (that's what they say in Nashville) out, let us just say that I did not enjoy the look or the feel of my dinner. I had to stop eating before I passed out (which I've done many a time before, so no one's to say that I won't do it again), and ever since that night I have been meat-free, except for the very sporadic fish.. which has been pared down even further since a post-Bahamas ciguatera diagnosis in the family. I'll just apologize again right now because this is reading like a Debbie Downer skit. Bottom line, the idea of eating an animal is not really an option for me since my brain has completely rejected the idea, so it's been my mission to find other things to eat aside from celery with peanut butter, and also to remain healthy and proteinized. I'm not trying to change any opinions about eating meat, just documenting my own voyage into the land of herbivores.

Correction: I would be an ABYSMAL hunter.

STEP ONE - GO COLD TURKEY (GET IT?!) OR EASE ON OUT
Decide which way is best for you. Stop full-stop or set some kind of a schedule to phase meat out of your diet.

STEP TWO - PREPARE YOURSELF
Unless you're tofu's biggest fan (which I consider to be an impossibility), you'll miss out on some key nutrients from this point forward. A good list to go by is here, and below is my own personal arsenal of horse pills. About three months into this lifestyle change my reserves of D and B12 had been emptied and I was practically falling asleep at work. Whoops.. take your supplements, yo! And then the Biotin was something I added in after hearing a horror story about someone who went veg and lost their hair. No gracias.

STEP THREE - MEAL PLAN

Time to get creative, or at least it's time to start relying on the creativity of others. In the last few months I've found a few fab resources, and between a magazine, a couple of veg-heavy websites (here and here), and a bible of a cookbook, I feel like I'm covered for the time being. Also, it's not difficult to find a frozen vegetarian meal in a pinch, my personal favorite being Amy's.

STEP FOUR - ENJOY IT
Benefits include better heart health, lower blood pressure, cancer prevention, and you're even less likely to get osteoporosis. Aside from all that mumbo jumbo, I've heard that meat-eaters consume an average of one hundred animals per year, so it's a nice little bonus to know that you're no longer a part of it. But if none of that works for you, at least you'll be able to compare yourself to some well-known faces, like Gandhi, or.. Pam Anderson? Sorry.

via

b&k's very own urban dictionary.

These are words/phrases that came about either via typo or brain miracle and have now made their way into our everyday lingo.

Most people have no idea what we're saying, but they're always nice enough to smile and nod.

via

the girl with the non-dragon tattoos.

If you are of the tattooed persuasion nowadays, chances are you don't qualify as any of the following: gang member, circus performer, drug dealer, lady of the night, hardened criminal, and/or societal outcast. Maybe you're a little less buttoned-up than the average bear, but having a tattoo won't define you. They've been mainstreamed, and all the cool kids are doing it ;) I got my first in 2003, my most recent in 2011, and (sorry, family) always have the next in the back of my mind. You'll get to see pictures of my collection one day, but for now I am going to offer up some words of wisdom. If you're considering it, my advice would be to start small and simple, maybe a bit hidden, and definitely not where the bone is close to the skin. Holy ouch. In other words, do the opposite of this. But most importantly, have a sense of humor about it. Sure, perhaps I could do without one of mine, but who cares? If a tattoo is my biggest regret in life then I'd say I've done pretty well for myself (unless I'm the chick with the face full of stars.. that was a major foul if I've ever seen one), and if nothing else, it will be a reminder that mistakes can be made and life will go on. I like my silver lining to be a bit more philosophical, so there you go. And take it from me, the world's biggest wuss, when I say that it will not hurt as badly as you think it will. Now go forth and prosper, and.. happy permanent body altering!

I'm guessing it's a tramp stamp.

Everlasting
little
lovelies,
not just
for the
trailer park
set
anymore.

So what are your thoughts? Do you have a tattoo, want one, wish you didn't have the one that you have, or did I just lose you all together?

inky images via pinterest

meet fido.

Spot. Buddy. Baxter. Fido. Man's best friend. A tail-wagging, smile-inducing, ever-loyal furry companion.

Allow us to introduce our fidos.

Meet Penny

Once upon a time (aka 2005) in the non-Chicago part of Illinois, a tiny little nugget was born to Sadie, a Maltese, and Prince of the Clouds, a Teacup Poodle (whatever you do, do not call her a Maltipoo). She was flown out to Denver and picked up at the airport by the stunningly gorgeous (sshhh, just let me have this one) girl who had purchased her. Unable to fully comprehend just how small this thing was (a gross little 1 lb), said owner refused to hold the puppy at first and made her friend do the dirty work of panicking about potentially breaking one of this bird dog's bird bones. The dog also needed her name to be changed, since it was clear from both the scrappy appearance and personality that she could no longer be known by the originally chosen moniker of Lola. After about half an hour of scouring the internet for ideas, it came to.. Penny? And so it was. Penny is a very loved, very weird five pound girl. She has lived in three different states, a countless number of apartments, made grown men talk in the babiest of baby voices, shopped at Bergdorf's, and even attended class at CU Boulder. She always received an A+ for effort, and truth be told, was far more alert than a large majority of the rest of the class. It was Boulder, need I say more? She now lives in Chicago with a long entryway perfect for playing fetch, enjoys long car rides, walks on the beach (and by walks, I mean sprints), dominating Golden Retrievers, snuggling, watching Bravo programming, and is considering taking her finely-tuned circus/comedy routine on the road. Nicknames include Penelope, Peninsula, Penny Lane, Penoodle, Pennifer, and our personal favorite, Chicken.

Meet Chloe & Sebastian

The tiny pug, commonly known as Wiener (“Winner” if you ask my Papa), was an experiment that began with margaritas at lunch, and ended with a stroll into a completely unfortunate puppy-mill stocked pet shop in Chicago. As soon as we walked in, I knew I would leave calling one of these sweet things my own. Chloe, or Ethel as she was named by the store owner, was a 10 week old runt with four brothers. My girlfriend and I took her home that night, for the “trial run” we had been offered by the pet store. We set-up a sleepover for ourselves, with the tiny monster cuddled between us, tucked in under the covers, finally safe and home. I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating – there were too many animals in this bed! But, as I kicked the sheets around, I realized it wasn’t sweat that was making me uncomfortable. It was Chloe; she had pooped under the covers! In a screaming frenzy, we started kicking everything off the bed, running to rinse the dog, ourselves and any of the bedding we could salvage. I knew if I could love her after that, then my heart had in fact opened and made room for this tiny little pug. Chloe is still the toughest girl around, she’ll go head to head with Mastiffs and Rottweilers alike, she’s a scrappy little know-it-all, with a Napoleon complex to match. Luckily, these days she has her best friend Sebastian around to be her "muscle".

A year and a half before J proposed to me, we brought home a bundle of joy, a little round-bellied white bulldog, who we quickly named Sebastian. Sebastian is a man’s man. He snores. He burps. He farts. All audibly.  But, behind his rough exterior lies the ultimate mama’s boy. This 55-lbs bull has no reason to think that he is not a lap dog. He snuggles up to my cheek, stands up to give me a proper hug, licks away tears, and guards our bedside if either one of us is sick or upset. He would defend Chloe, me and J to the death. He is tough as nails, and loyal to a fault. My little snow bunny loves to plow his face through the fresh snow, he tries to eat snowflakes as they fall, and he trots around  like a polar bear in the cold. Bass collects tennis balls, rawhides, and stuffed animals, and spends his evenings lying by the fire.

Do you have any furry friends at home? Can you imagine your life without them?! We can't.

Want to see more of our fidos? Click Join this Site, and become one of our BIGGEST FANS!

allow us to introduce... ourselves.

Marcel asks, we answer.
Avatars available here.

Welcome! Let’s pop open the champagne, or nettle leaf tea, and get right to it. As we progress into this you'll learn more about us, but here's the jist: two girls in their mid to late (ew! what! no!) twenties, Chicago bred, participating members of corporate America, dog owners, brunch aficionados, nap fanatics, just living the same life that you all live, more or less. Whether you appreciate our normalcy or usage of correct grammar and spelling, we hope that you enjoy. Following those who have been featured in Vanity Fair's Proust questionnaire, we have filled in what is considered to be an extremely telling set of inquiries. Whatever you do, don't analyze our answers too much. We pay other people to do that for us.